The Lesson
by Lia Galanodel
Summary: Pippin and Merry pinch some things from Gandalf's cart and he teaches them a lesson! CP Warning
1. Lessons

A/N- Ok this was inspired by Prenshaw's story where Gandalf takes the sweet little Took over his knee, it's a good story go read it! (A Misadventure In The House Of Elrond) I'm one for giving credit to someone when it's due, so that's why Gandalf is seen as the parental figure here, thank you Prenshaw!  
  
Disclaimer- No, I don't own Pip or Biwwy so don't sue me Tolkien or Stewart! =P (Sorry… only other BB fans who frequent BB.net will understand that one…)  
  
"Pippin! Gandalf's back!! Where are you, you fool?" Merry shouted as he ran through Brandyhall, where the young Took had been visiting. Pip was in the middle of a history lesson with his father, the Thain, when he heard Merry's voice.  
  
"Father! Could we stop for a while? I don't think I could keep another fact in my head even if it was fed to me!" Pippin begged. His father frowned.  
  
"You just want to go with Meriadoc and cause the poor old wizard trouble, don't you my boy?" Pippin tried to keep from smiling as best he could. "Well, let us make a deal. How about: If we stop now, you must promise me that you will not cause Master Gandalf any problems. Or, we could finish the lesson and then you can go and cause the good wizard as much trouble as you like until he threatens to turn you into a frog. What do you say?"  
  
Pippin stopped to think. If he took the latter he wouldn't be bound by any of his father's restricting rules. But he would have to wait… Nodding with confidence, Pippin answered with a hint of disappointment. "Let us finish the lesson then Da…"  
  
Meanwhile, Merry had been searching everywhere until he came upon his mother who told him to hush else he disturb the rest of the household. Reluctantly, Merry stopped shouting and asked if she knew where Pippin might possibly be. She told him about the history lessons his father was now giving him since he was to one day become Thain. Merry sighed and waited in the hall outside the room Pippin was studying in.  
  
After awhile Pippin was finally dismissed. He ran out in joy with Merry and headed towards Bag End where they were sure to find the wizard. Once they arrived they saw his wagon and immediately wore matching grins. Seemingly Gandalf hadn't taken the time to secure his belongings… and the two troublemakers didn't waste any time in searching for interesting items. They found a few oddly shaped stones, and several little things that resembled firecrackers. They then took off into the forest near Bag End.  
  
They found a spot that was near the edge of the forest and set themselves down along with their newly acquired items. The cousins inspected the items carefully, trying to figure out what they did. They determined that the firecracker things were firecrackers, but couldn't figure out what the stones were for. Shrugging, Pippin put the stones inside his trouser pocket for safekeeping.  
  
They turned to the firecrackers and wanted to light one. But they had nothing to light it with. Quickly thinking, Merry decided that the stones must be some sort of flint to create a spark with. He asked Pippin to hand him a couple.  
  
But when Pippin reached into his trouser pocket, they were gone! They had disappeared completely without Pippin even knowing. Maybe they had rolled out of his pocket? They hobbits searched the ground around them, but found no trace of the strange stones.  
  
"Merry, what are we gonna do? Gandalf'll be sure to notice that he's missing his weird stones and might turn us into crickets if he finds out we're the ones responsible!" Pippin panicked. Merry, however, kept calm.  
  
"Don't worry Pip, I'm sure Gandalf will understand our curiosity… he always understands Frodo's anyways… No need to worry your silly little head about such things. We'll just have to go back and tell him the truth," Merry said, trying to be confident and courageous, but the thought of having to admit that they lost the stones wasn't as appetizing to Merry either.  
  
They finally decided to head back. When they entered the fields near Bag End again, they saw a tall figure standing with his arms crossed on the top step of the stone walkway in front of the Baggins's house. Merry heard Pippin whimper and felt close to tears himself.  
  
When they reached the second to top stair, Gandalf held out his hand. Reluctantly and staring at the ground the two hobbit's emptied their pockets of the firecrackers. Gandalf put them into one of his own pockets before taking each hobbit by his ear back down the stairs to the wizard's cart.  
  
"Foolish hobbits! You could have been hurt or worse! Do you know how dangerous these are?" Gandalf asked referring to the firecrackers. Both hobbits shook their head. Gandalf "humphed" at their lack of common sense. He picked Merry up and set him on the driver's bench of the cart. Then Gandalf himself climbed up and situated himself until he was comfortable. He stood Merry up and undid the hobbit-boy's braces and trousers. Merry blushed as his trousers were let drop to his ankles and he was left with no clothing to cover his hobbithood. Gandalf lay Merry down over the wizard's lap and started to give him a hard spanking.  
  
"You ~smack~ foolish hob ~smack~ bit boys ~smack~ must ~smack~ learn some sort ~smack~ of ~smack~ self control! ~smack~ This ~smack~ is ~smack~ the only ~smack~ way ~smack~ that works ~smack~ with ~smack~ you ~smack~ two! If ~smack~ I had ~smack~ access ~smack~ to ~smack~ a belt ~smack~ or a strap ~smack~ I pro~smack~bably would ~smack~ take it ~smack~ to each ~smack~ of your ~smack~ naughty bottoms! ~smack~"  
  
By the end of Gandalf's rant Merry had lost all sense of modesty about being in the open road receiving a spanking as if he weren't even a tweenager yet! He was crying and kicking like any hobbit would if a strong human had hit him 26 times in a row. Pippin had watched from the perspective of behind Merry's rump and at first had been amazed by the phase of colours his cousin's rear went through, but was then reminded that he would be next. When Gandalf let Merry down, he told him to stay right were he was. It was Pippin's turn, now.  
  
Gandalf leaned down and grabbed Pippin by the scruff of his shirt. He lifted the weeping hobbit onto his cart and undid Pippin's trousers. He then leaned the hobbit over his lap and started spanking the Took's little behind.  
  
"If you ~smack~ thought ~smack~ Meriadoc ~smack~ got a harsh ~smack~ spanking, lad, ~smack~ then you'll ~smack~ be sup~smack~rised at this! ~smack~ I've ~smack~ no doubt ~smack~ in my ~smack~ mind that ~smack~ this was ~smack~ your idea, ~smack~ Peregrin Took! ~smack~ If I find ~smack~ either ~smack~ of you two ~smack~ EVER ~smack~ rummaging ~smack~ through my ~smack~ cart again, ~smack~ I won't ~smack~ hesitate to ~smack~ tan your ~smack~ little ~smack~ round ~smack~ bottoms ~smack~ until they're ~smack~ bright red! ~smack~ Understand, ~smack~ boys?" ~smack~  
  
Merry was busy rubbing his own behind and replied quickly with a "Yes, sir!" Pippin, however was in too much distress to comprehend the question.  
  
"Well, ~smack~ Peregrin? ~smack~ Need I continue ~smack~ with your ~smack~ spanking, or ~smack~ are you going ~smack~ to ~smack~ promise me ~smack~ that you'll ~smack~ leave my ~smack~ cart alone?!" ~smack~  
  
Pippin was kicking and bucking on top of Gandalf's lap, unable to respond. Gandalf held him tight and gave him two more spanks before stopping, bringing the young Took's total up to 45. As soon as Pippin had calmed a bit he started talking.  
  
"Never again, Gandalf! I promise! Oooo! It hurts!" He blubbered before going back to sobbing incomprehensively. Gandalf seemed pleased all the same, feeling that the two troublemakers might have learned their lesson this time. He knew that they would break their promise sooner or later, but he felt that Merry, at least, would think twice before trying this stunt again. Hopefully the Brandybuck would talk the mischievous and carefree Took out of it before they both wound up across Gandalf's knee again.  
  
He let the sobbing Took off his knee and dispersed the younger hobbits that had stood watching their idols receive a well-deserved spanking. He looked up at the window of Bag End where Frodo had been watching and smiled. Gandalf knew that Frodo agreed with the discipline given to the cousins, and would make them sit on the hard floor for the remainder of their visit to make sure the lesson stayed within their minds. Gandalf turned to the aforementioned cousins and led them up the stairs to Bag End, both hobbits fervently rubbing their posteriors on the way. 


	2. Rumours

The rest of the evening was rather uneventful, unless one considers dinner, supper, and after supper snack events. Merry and Pippin had a rather hard time sitting on the hard wooden benches, but managed to conceal their discomfort rather well. Both were a bit more subdued than normal as account of the fact that they used the majority of their energy during their spankings. As both cousins were denied chairs, they contented themselves by lying on their stomachs on the floor playing checkers. Gandalf and Bilbo were out having a good smoke and Frodo was reading a book.  
  
"Ha ha! Beat you!" Merry exclaimed suddenly, surprising Frodo, and upsetting Pippin.  
  
"You did not! That was an illegal move you just pulled, Merry!"  
  
"T'was not!" The older hobbit exclaimed back. Frodo sighed smiling as a fresh argument erupted and went back to his book.  
  
"Yes t'was! That one wasn't knighted so he can't jump me backwards!" Pippin argued.  
  
"Yes he was, his top piece just fell off is all, there now, see?" Merry corrected and put another marker on top of the previous one to signify its higher status. Pippin crossed his arms and furrowed his brow.  
  
"Aw, come off it Pip, s'only a game, how bout a two on three?" Merry coaxed. If there was one thing Pippin hated it was losing. He took a deep breath and looked at his first cousin.  
  
"Nah, I don't really wanna play this game anymore… I'm getting restless. Why don't we go down to the pub and have a few before it closes?" Pippin stood up and Merry followed. "Wanna come, Frodo? Get some fresh air 'stead of book air for once?" Pip added to Frodo.  
  
"You two go along without me, thanks. I think I'm just gonna stay here and visit with Gandalf awhile. Have fun, but don't get too drunk Pippin, you're only a boy you know!" Frodo teased as he dodged a punch to his arm. Merry left laughing along with Pippin down the lane towards Hobbiton.  
  
It didn't take that long at all to get there, and once they entered and settled themselves (carefully) down with a mug of ale some of the girls noticed them immediately. One, Pansy Proudfoot, came over to greet them.  
  
"So I see you two have recovered well… you didn't flinch when you sat down so either you have gotten used to them by now or he wasn't hitting you hard enough!" she giggled. Pippin looked aghast and Merry crossed his arms.  
  
"We're fine, thank you, and you can just forget about it. We don't exactly want the entire Shire to know--"  
  
"Too late, Mer!" Pansy giggled even harder. "It seems that lots of young hobbits saw you and everyone went home right after to tell! Can you imagine my expression when I heard the two most troublesome hobbits in the Shire were being given a public bare bottom spanking by Gandalf the Wizard? I almost couldn't believe it! I had to see for myself, and there you were Pip! Up over Gandalf's tall knee crying and carrying on as if you were no more than 10 years old! I have to admit, though, by the look of your bottom he must have been hitting you pretty hard!"  
  
By the time she was done with her recollection both boys were blushing bright red and Pippin seemed to be trying to disappear under the table. Luckily for Pansy, she flounced off to some other part of the pub before Merry could jump on her and punch her. He seemed to be fuming, whereas Pippin couldn't have been more embarrassed in his life. Pippin noticed his cousin before Merry was able to do anything destructive and grabbed his arms.  
  
"C'mon Mer, let's go somewhere else less populated…" he said as he pulled the older hobbit out of the bar. They made their way towards the Great Smials and Pippin finally got Merry to calm down.  
  
"How dare she spread that to everyone in Hobbiton! As if she has never been given a spanking before! I bet the entire Shire knows only because of her big mouth! Pippin let me go back there and teach her a lesson…!" Merry shouted as Pippin held him back.  
  
"Merry, don't worry! In a day or so everyone will forget about the whole issue. The only people who will remember are Gandalf, Bilbo, Frodo, you, and me. Maybe not even Gandalf or Bilbo! They are getting rather up there in years, Gandalf especially. Even though he still is as strong as a bull pony…" Pippin rubbed his backside unconsciously. "Maybe his mind isn't that strong anymore?"  
  
"Humph," Merry replied. They both knew Gandalf wouldn't forget in a million years. Gandalf remembered everything that happened, especially when it came to two curious Hobbits looking at his things. He could probably tell you the date, time of day, and exactly what had been taken and returned for each time he had caught them since they weren't even in their teens. It must be hundreds of sessions since then! 


	3. Explanations

They got back to Bag End still upset about the rumours going around. Supper was just starting to be prepared by Bilbo and Frodo, while Gandalf was sitting reading a newly completed part of Bilbo's book. When the two boys entered Gandalf looked up to see who it was and then went back to the book. Frodo came into the room to greet them.  
  
"There you are! If you haven't eaten, supper is almost ready, until then find something to keep yourselves occupied." Merry nodded to the older hobbit and Frodo went back into the kitchen. Merry then went and sat down dejected on the couch. Pippin moved over behind Gandalf to see what he was reading. Unfortunately Gandalf's shoulder was too high to reach over, so Pippin had to stand on tiptoes. Gandalf grunted.  
  
"I'll not have you reading over my shoulder, thank you very much Peregrin Took. If you would like to read with me you could just ask, you know." Pippin sighed and looked up at the wizard.  
  
"Could I read with you Gandalf?" He asked innocently. Gandalf rolled his eyes and put the book down on the table. He adjusted his robes and looked down at the hobbit.  
  
"Come on then," He said while he picked up Pippin under the boy's arms and set Pip upon his knee. Gandalf then picked up the book again and held it down in their laps. Pippin liked being this close to Gandalf; it made him feel very safe. To be so close to someone of such power and esteem was mind boggling to think about. Slowly, Pippin relaxed against Gandalf's chest. If the wizard noticed he didn't seem to mind. They both were reading quietly when Pippin felt a hard object digging into his back. Confused, he turned to look up to the wizard.  
  
"What's that?" Pip asked when he felt it again. Gandalf looked at him curiously until he figured out what the hobbit was speaking about. He reached inside his robes and fished out the oddly shaped stones. Pippin gasped when he saw them.  
  
"How did you…?" He stopped in mid-sentence when Gandalf smiled down at him.  
  
"My dear hobbit, did you not wonder how I knew you and Meriadoc were up to mischief?" Pippin shook his head no, and Gandalf smiled again. "These stones are very special stones. They create a bond with the first person to find them; that was I. The bond connects them to me. If anyone tries to steal them, they take in the essence of that person, or hobbit in this case, and magically return to me. When the perpetrator comes near they glow the pinkish colour it is glowing right now, effectively telling me that trouble is near. So when you two came close and the stones turned pink, I knew, Pippin, that you had tried to take these stones without my permission," Gandalf explained clearly enjoying the look of amazement on Pippin's face.  
  
After a minute Pippin regained his wits and made a face. "So how did you know that we had taken more than just the stones when we returned?"  
  
"Simple, my dear Took. I know you two well enough by now to assume that one thing is not nearly enough to keep you interested. Which was proven true when you emptied out your pockets and gave me the firecrackers," Gandalf explained and Pippin scowled.  
  
"So that solves that. Now why did you spank us so? We meant no harm…"  
  
"Of course you meant no harm, but a Wizard's cart is not a toy box. There are things in there that are strong enough to turn a dog into a cat. You could have been injured or worse, and I don't want to have to make a visit to your father, the Thain, explaining why his only son is now a mouse. I learned long ago, Peregrin Took, that the only way to get through to your head is through your bottom," Gandalf said smiling. Just then Frodo entered the room to say that supper was ready. Gandalf let the hobbit-lad off of his lap and watched Pippin and Merry hurry into the kitchen. When Gandalf himself went into the kitchen, Bilbo smiled.  
  
"Gandalf, my friend, you never cease to amaze me with your explanations," the old hobbit said amiably. 


End file.
